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Screenplay #1


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At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
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Thing that goes BUMP in the night.

A man was walking home alone late one night when
he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him.

Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the
image of an upright coffin banging its way down
the middle of the street towards him ...

BUMP...BUMP... BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run towards his
home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him
... faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys,
opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the
door behind him.

However, the coffin crashes through his door,
with the lid of the coffin clapping ...
clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP
... on the heals of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks
himself in.

His heart is pounding; his head is reeling;
his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the
door.

Bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for something,
anything ...
but all he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the
coffin ...

and of course


...........the coffin stops!


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Manure Happens
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

Website: http://www.manurehappens.com







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