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Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with
wires to a photocopy machine.

The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect
wasn't telling the truth.

Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect


The Secret of Life ???

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age,
weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them.
That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer,
crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop," The devil's
name is Depression.

4. Enjoy the simple things. When the children are
young, that is all that you can afford. When they are
in college, that is all that you can afford. When you
are on retirement, that is all that you can afford.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp
for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in
the store by your distinctive laughter.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The
only person who is with us our entire life, is
ourselves. Be alive while you are alive, don't put out
a mailbox on the highway of death and just wait in
residence for your mail.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it
is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies,
whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what
you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next
county, foreign country, but not to guilt country.

10. Tell the people you love, that you love them, at
every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not
measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away.

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Manure Happens
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

Website: http://www.manurehappens.com

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