Really Bad News.......

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news,"
the doctor says.

"You're dying, and you don't have much time
left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man.
"How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks.

"Ten what?

Months?

Weeks?

What?!"

.............. "Nine...Eight...Seven..."

Thing that goes BUMP in the night.

A man was walking home alone late one night when
he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him.

Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the
image of an upright coffin banging its way down
the middle of the street towards him ...

BUMP...BUMP... BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run towards his
home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him
... faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys,
opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the
door behind him.

However, the coffin crashes through his door,
with the lid of the coffin clapping ...
clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP
... on the heals of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks
himself in.

His heart is pounding; his head is reeling;
his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the
door.

Bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for something,
anything ...
but all he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the
coffin ...

and of course


...........the coffin stops!