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About Hilma


Read My
Screenplay #1


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Thing that goes BUMP in the night.

A man was walking home alone late one night when
he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him.

Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the
image of an upright coffin banging its way down
the middle of the street towards him ...


Terrified, the man begins to run towards his
home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him
... faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys,
opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the
door behind him.

However, the coffin crashes through his door,
with the lid of the coffin clapping ...
clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP
... on the heals of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks
himself in.

His heart is pounding; his head is reeling;
his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the

Bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for something,
anything ...
but all he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the
coffin ...

and of course

...........the coffin stops!


Talk About Scared

Driving to the office this morning on the motor
way, I looked over to my left and there was a
woman in a brand new BMW.

She was doing 136 Kph with her face up next to
her rear view mirror putting on her eye liner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I
looked back she was halfway over in my lane!

Still working on that make-up !!!

It scared me so bad, (I'm a man) that I dropped
my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out
of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten
out the car using my knees against the
steering wheel, my cell phone was knocked away
from my ear.

It fell into the coffee between my legs,
splashed and burned 'Big Jim and the Twins'!

Ruined the damn phone and

........... WOMEN DRIVERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Manure Happens
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

Website: http://www.manurehappens.com

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