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Selected Cowboy Poetry
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

Performed at the Tall Tales Show, Plummer, ID 2003

THE APPALOOSA MARE
     by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

They pulled up in a station wagon
Lookin' for a horse to buy.
I didn't have too many left -
Sold most to some camp guy.

But there were four behind the barn
They'd look at if they could.
"What about that appaloosa?"
I replied, "She don't look too good."

He said, "I used to own some horses
And I've got a pretty good eye
For judging conformation;
Her withers are slightly high."

She said, "Yes, but the bones are fine
And the forehead's nice and wide.
The shoulders are sloped just right;
And what a remarkably colored hide."

I drawled, "Yup, them spots are showy.
But no, I don't think you should
Take that mare on home with you
'Cause she don't look too good."

They eyeballed her up and down,
Felt for flaws that might be hidden,
An' jest a lovin' that flashy coat
An' asked if she'd ever been ridden.

"Most likely has, but this mare's
More for makin' colts in a brood.
You don't want her for ridin'
'Cause she don't look too good."

With that I hopped upon her back
To prove she wouldn't buck.
They smiled at each other
An' I knew I was in luck.

I said, "She's priced two thousand, firm."
They had the cash on hand.
They asked, "Can you deliver?"
"I'll go load her in the van."

Next day he came back snortin' fire,
"You lying, horse tradin' hood.
You cheat, that appaloosa's blind."
"I told ya...she don't look too good."


NEVER TRUST
A HORSE TRADER
ANY FURTHER
THAN YOU CAN THROW
A POLITICIAN
-- OR VISA VERSA --

Manure Happens
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk
Copyright 1995, 2007, All Rights Reserved
Website: http://www.manurehappens.com online since 1996